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DO's and Don'ts

Frequently Asked Questions

Here at 2Wives.com, the vehicle for arriving at a juncture in life where you are standing face to face, talking with the new woman in your relationship is - your first E-Mail reply to her ad! E-Mail, being a "sort" of letter, requires a few special basic considerations for it to accomplish quickly and accurately it's purpose of getting you into the coveted relationship, one having two wives.

We all love to get personal e-mail. Especially so when you are waiting for "Personal Ad" e-mails. Lightning fast, clear, and immediate food for the soul is available at any moment, 24 hours a day . . .all the time. Most personal ads don't get responses though. Only 15% get responses, and most of those are single women's ads. The skills and abilities of couples seeking and single men seeking must be used to the maximum when writing their ads. You must have everything going for you that you can. Here are a few suggestions that will improve your chances of getting e-mail from your ad and responses from ads you have replied to.

The 7 Big DON'Ts!

Before we begin, the following has to be said right up front. We advise and instruct all Single Women to NEVER REPLY to certain types of messages. These are 7 big "don'ts" that that you should never do. When sending a message (and especially when sending your first message) to a Single Woman's Ad,

  1. Don't give your telephone number, real address, other web-site address, off-site instant message/chat handle, or ANY EMAIL ADDRESS, until after she has replied to your first message later and has directly ASKED you for it. The 2Wives.com message system will automatically give her your passport (that's your special username email address @ Pro-Polygamy.NET). When she replies to your first message to her, she should only be replying to that passport address. When she sends it to your passport address, it will auto-FORWARD to your regular email address. THEN, when you reply back to her reply, you may send her future emails from your regular email address. If she asks you to only re-contact her again only by using her ad's form (instead of direct email), then you must respect her wishes. She may choose to continue sending more emails back to your passport address instead, but you must not ever push her to to have her email you back at any other address until she says it is ok. Why is this important? It is because you don't want to tell her you are a fraud. You see, every single credit card frauder and criminal has tried to get single women to contact them at an off-site email address instead of the passport address. You care about these women, right? You don't want them to be in danger, right? So, obviously, you don't want them to take the risk of replying to someone who does what credit card frauders and criminals do, right? So, for their safety, we always tell single women to NEVER reply to someone whose very first email asks them to contact at some other email address. So, if you want to show the women you are honest, then do not ask her to contact you at any other address until she is already emailing back to you.
  2. Don't refer to any woman as simply a "female" - as in, saying, "I am looking for a female." What are you, a "Ferengi" on Star Trek,The Next Generation? Looking for a female... are you serious? No, don't ever do it. It is both insulting and de-humanizing to the very special ladies that they are.
  3. Don't ask, "Are you still looking?" As crazy at is may sound, there are some people who actually think that that useless one-sentence introduction actually works! Unbelievable. If you want a reply, don't do it.
  4. Don't send non-informative one-liners, such as, "I'd like to meet you so please write back." Why should she? She has no idea who you are or what you are about! Of course, she should NOT reply to that kind of email. If you want any hope of her replying back, you should write at least 50 words, if not 100 - but not 500!
  5. Don't go overboard with too much personal information about yourself either. Real introductions are made a step at a time. Give her enough info about yourself so that she can determine if she feels comfortable communicating even more with you further. If you give too much, it is overhwhelming, and can even make her think you're... weird - too weird for her.
  6. Don't use a one-liner asking her to visit your Ad without also cut&pasting the URL to your Ad into your message. Sometimes, people still think that the one-line first-contact message to a woman can still get a reply as long as they are asking her to see their Ad. While doing that is still not advisable, it is made worse by not even telling her where she may be able to see your Ad at 2Wives.com! Yes, it is good form for you to ask her to see your Ad - especially if you ordered a PIC of yourself for her to see too. But if you don't tell her how she can find your Ad, then she can't find it. So, if you do not give her the URL for your Ad, then not only is the one-liner a reason for her to not reply, but the fact that she could not even find your Ad is even more reason for her to not reply back to you.
  7. Don't "creep" her out. When she reads that first email from you, neither of you know each other. So, do not profess foolishness like saying "you love her" or other lunatic suggestions. Not only will a single woman NOT reply, but if you genuinely "creep" her out with those kinds of things, it could even lead to your being banned from 2Wives.com. A mistake is one thing, but wacky "creepy" will not be acceptable at 2Wives.com. The Single Women are protected here at 2Wives.com, so just don't be "creepy." No problem.
There. We did it. Now that has been quickly explained up front, let's get into more details of Do's and Don'ts to help you succeed!


Now, on to the rest...


Sign your name in a reply. Use your names in ads. If you don't want to use your common name, use a nick name, but use a name. Most of the ads on 2Wives.com will likely not have the person's name in them. These ads receive about 1/2 the replies of ads with the person's name in them. Most responses to ads from men, do not have their name in the letter. Absolutely amazing. If you are like us, we just do not answer letters without the name of the person who wrote the letter. If we do, we start it with, "Dear what ever your name is, . . ."


So what is it that would make a person leave out such an important item {their name} in such a critical document, as a reply to their potential new partner for life? Seems odd, doesn't it? What is their fear? What do they have to fear that is worth putting their chances for meeting someone in jeopardy? What's the worst thing that could happen, if they used their name in an e-mail? Would you reply to a person who is obviously suffering with fear? Would this person make a good partner for the rest of your life? Use your name in all correspondence and ads or you are dead in the water right from the "get go." A person displaying fear will never make it in the world of 2 wives. They will eat you alive and spit out the bones.


Responses to ads that say absolutely nothing: Believe it or not, these responses are quite common; " hi you sound kute right me." Bordering on being a nuisance, they actually request the person with the ad to dream up something to write back. Reading this kind of "gibber," persons with ads, take these replies and toss them into the fire. When replying to an ad, if you really want to have an e-mail conversation with the person, always follow the "5 W's" rule, along with your name, of course. The 5 w's are, who, what, when, where, and why or how. For example: "Hello ad# 967, My name is "Sparkie", I am a thoughtful person. . ., My interest in having another wife is. . . ., I live in. . ., Because I am interested in cooking. . ., I see in your ad that you . . . ., Well, I really would like you to write me and I will send you a picture. . ., Sincerely yours, Sparkie." Sparkie's letter would not go into the fire and the person with the ad would feel at ease, and hopefully write back to, "Sparkie."

We are not kidding here. Do not bother single women with replies that say nothing more than, "I am a male, I am tall, and I would like you to write me." Bothering single women makes them drop their ads. Thoughtless letters forwarded to single women will ruin our credibility. For everyone's sakes, we only want replies that have some substance for the single woman to consider. It is so simple to use the 5 "W's" gentlemen.


Although this is a woman's site for women, men use the site 4 times more than women, and that is just how it is. We strongly recommend the following. " The idea is that the woman or women in your life may offer you a new partner rather than you, the man, offering the woman a new partner. "Ads written by the wife, seeking another wife for her husband, receive the most couple's responses and have tremendous success. Ads with pictures of the husband and not the wife hardly ever receive a response. Also, we have a file of pictures consisting of nude pictures of mostly men that were sent to women's ads. These presentations of one's self are not appreciated by the women with ads. These kinds of pictures usually are a turn off in many ways. For couples, the women need to meet the woman first. The women need to write the ad. Women can tell if a man or woman wrote the ad. Women write welcoming ads. ..men tend to write "boring, oh yea, my wife is all for this idea" ads, me, me, me. If you think about it, the man has absolutely nothing to do with the "initial"meeting. He actually gets in the way. Just some food for thought here men. Listen to your woman/women. Ask a woman to write the ad. . .

Just to back this suggestion up, here is a quote we received: "Thanks for the wonderful service you are providing. I re-read your "do's and don'ts" and absolutely agree about the part where you advise the men to basically bug out. I tried communicating directly (along with my wife) and not only wasn't it effective, it was very stressful for me! My Wife, on the other hand, has handled it very well. So the lesson to me is clear: bug out, let the wife handle it! Just like you said! Duh! I'm glad I discovered this right at the outset so I can spare myself a lot of grief later on."


Of course, we expect you to write what ever you think best for your ad. Truthfully, we have seen no common denominator with respect to the wording in ads. You can never figure an ad. We get ads that we all agree will never get a response and sure enough, a week later, that ad does indeed receive a response. Amazing. We have noted one bit of information that is offered in ads that seems to cut a person's responses to Zero. Body parts requirements, for example, large bosom, wide thighs, blond hair, etc. And, any bi-sexual announcements are completely unnecessary and really narrow your e-mail correspondence. The time to expose your body parts and physical plans is in your personal mails to a person that writes you. Think about it. Meet the person first, then, when they ask, tell them of your interest. What is your profit to go about an international arena, (2Wives.com) shouting that you like sex. Everybody likes sex. Wouldn't it be more time constructive to go along the internet highways of the world and shout that you are, for example, "kind." Or considerate. Or loyal. Or trustworthy. Or brave. Or reverent. Or, I am just a great person to know! Save the sex for your personal conversations. Weigh the profit of announcing in an ad that you like sex. Just a tip. . .


Don't mail letters to a polygamy site from the computer at your work place. You will be caught. We receive many letters asking us to not send mail to the address in their e-mail "Header." Eventually, we will (by mistake, sorry) or even worse, automatic mailers always send mail to the return address in the e-mail's Header Information. We receive mail from irate people telling us that they know who wrote the letter to us from their machine and if we ever write to their address again we will meet their attorney and will have very bad luck soon. Not nice to do to us or yourself. If you must use the machine at work, learn how to change the "Mail and News" preferences. Mail and News preferences are located in the top bar on your browser under the "Options" button. Use your, for example,"HotMail.com" account or one of the thousands of other free e-mail services as your return address. Don't forget to change the preferences back to exactly like they were before or. . .you're busted. Oh, and do not write responses in all capital letters. It "screams" at the reader. You can always tell its a male letter if it screams at you. . .


Do not "Spam" ads. . . . .people with ads know when you are sending a form letter and will toss it. (They especially do not want to hear any commcerical advertisements or anything other than their intended audience to write to them.) This is a "personals" site, so make every email personal. If you are writing to all the single women's ads, which is just fine, at least make sure to personalize and individualize each and every message. Do not send a "one-message-copied-to-all-ads." Single women will recognize that and run as far away from it as they can. Also, make sure that you actually say something to let the single woman know something about you. Do not send a two-line email that says something like, "Saw your ad. Write me back." When a single women gets that kind of ad, she thinks, "You didn't even give me a reason why I would want to reply!" Responding to an ad requires you to address the person you are writing as a real person to or they will not feel any connection. Otherwise, you will be sending a dead letter that will make the person receiving it, read your reply with a rolling eye and a mumbling of, "Oh brother. . .another form letter. . .yuck."


Do not try to bypass the system - very devastating to your results. It's the fastest way to tell a single woman to not trust you. If you show her that you are trying to sneak around or bypass the 2Wives.com system, you show her that you are "sneaky." She will run from you as fast as she can - and she should! So, when sending replies to single women's ads, do not send any email address but your new Member's email address @ Pro-Polygamy.NET. If a single woman replies to your email to her, she should only be sending that email to that special address. (If you develop a relationship later, then that is when you can exchange other email addresses, but not until then.) We advise women to fully ignore all emails that come to them asking them to reply back to some email address other than that Member's user address @ Pro-Polygamy.NET. Also, do not join as a new 2Wives.com Member, to send off a quick letter to all the single-women's ads, and then promptly quit. Not only will that reduce the amount of replies back you might get, but it also will tell the single women that you were not really serious about your search. Think about it. Do you realize what that says to a single woman? It screams, "I am so cheap and am so not-serious about searching for a special woman, that I expect results immediately and I do not care about anything but myself. If I ever marry a second wife, I don't care about sites like 2Wives.com working to support my polygamy rights." If you could so openly tell her that, it also tells her that you wuld treat her that way too. So, don't do it! Let her know you really are serious and "in it for the long-term." In all stories of life, the self-only and short-term-thinking men never "get the girl" anyway. Here's a tip... There's a reason why we also have polygamous families who remain current 2Wives.com Members even through they already have more than wife! Something to think about!


"One last bit of information." Here is a copy of our "open letter" to single women who place an ad here at 2Wives.com. This letter will give you some insight into what the single women are prepared for. In the past years, we have found that single women tell us everything if there is any foolishness from those replying to their ad. Here is the letter:

Hello "Single Woman",

Thank you so much for trusting us and placing your ad here at 2Wives.com. We will do our best to find you the right people. (or, thank you for using our services and we forwarded your ad reply)

Because you are a single woman, be sure to keep us informed of what is going on with the replies you receive from your ad (or replies you send) here. These are seasoned, experienced people that use this site. Extremely serious about their search. We are your "sounding board" for decisions you make. Always use us. . .

Use us so that you don't find yourself being used. We do insist on the very best for you, "Single Woman". We will only place your ad in the members segment only and see what happens. You will receive lots of mail. Be sure to write each one back and just say, "Thank you for writing, but I am looking for a different set of circumstances. Thank you." Folks appreciate at least some acknowledgement. . .just like you do.

Keep one fact in mind - always. You have the power here. Single women place an ad and are so afraid that no one will write them. They feel they are ugly. They are afraid they won't find a relationship. Nonsense. You have the power here. . .relax and smell the roses.

Negative thoughts or perceptions about yourself are as far from the truth as possible around here. Folks will break a leg writing you. You are the elusive sisterwife. So rare in our society. You will receive tons of offers for being "wined and dined". They will offer you their home, living and school support, a new car. It goes on and on. My point is, take your time. Do not feel that you are the "underdog". They are frantic. You don't need to be because you have the power here.

We at 2Wives.com take very seriously your well being through this search you have started. Our site is a trusted site for women. Not perfect, but better than almost all other "personals" sites. We watch what is going on with regards to this "Personals" site.

We have found that replies you receive from the husband, rather than from the wife, are to be "listened" to closely. We stress that the wife write to and find her sisterwife, not the husband. This works better than the husband writing you and then saying to his wife, "I found this other woman I want to have a marriage relationship with." Very rude for him to do to you and his wife. Watch out for this one. "Run for your life" if you find yourself talking with the husband and not his wife. Something is very wrong with this picture.

Here are some ideas for your handling this dilemma of lots of reply mails. And, of course, you can alter, change, or add to our ideas all you want.

Keep in mind that you can do everything possible to be honest and sincere. Everything. . .and the relationship you decide on can still sink, 2 days into it. There are no clear answers. Thus, our pounding the point, don't hurry, take your time. Take your time. Take your time. You have nothing to loose with, "Taking your Time."

1) People appreciate your honesty in telling and sending them a "Yes or No" return letter. (This will make handling your mail much easier.) Do not be concerned about who you will hurt and who you won't. They appreciate that you are trying to embark on an important life long mission. You have to "nip this in the bud" now or possibly forever suffer the consequences. Consequences for you and for the persons whom you were "nice" to and in the long run, harmed their lives along with devastating yours. You don't want to hurt others; you are not in that position. You are in the position of presenting the best opportunity to a couple that they will have in their entire life. . .and yours too. It's magical in some ways.

2) Be up-front. Tell those you are writing that you are going to work with 20 (for example) families at the same time and probably take a year to make a choice. Anyone who is on a different time schedule can opt to - butt out. Several will do just that, saying - no way. (Just some more examples)

3) Write many letters to those you think might work out. This process will bring about more people who it won't work out with and closer to those who it will work out with. If you see it won't work out, that is good. Why try a relationship that won't work. Finding out ahead of time is good, not bad. If you can see it won't work, just say that your feelings say, "it won't work".

4) And, we are sorry to say this. Exchange pictures. Sometimes this will "weed out" some people. We know that looks are a small part of a relationship: but, on initial beginnings, you can rule out certain folks. That's life. . .if the chemistry doesn't work, it just, "isn't going to fly."

5) Phone calls. . .on their nickel, unless you are well to do. This is an excellent way to eliminate some of the candidates. Do-not-make-any-plans-to
meet-up-with-folks. We have seen several disasters in this department. Always tell us of potential meetings. We will advise. You, of course, are free to do as you please; but, as we said, we have watched some real disasters unfold at this juncture. We would be glad to give you our set of danger signs.

6) Your state of mind. . .there is no need for speed. Take your time. Stop!, and plan on a time schedule. Make your mind up that you are going to take a year to make a move (or 3 months maybe). (We use a year as an example because of the time other single women, with ads, have taken. . .2 weeks or 1 month, and their relationships have failed quickly.) Failure and pain for all - including us. We care for you and watch your search. We want the very best for you. We hate it when you are used, abused, and thrown out in one of these premature meeting deals. . .

7) Be honest here. Honesty will cut through this situation like a hot knife through soft butter.Take your time, lots of time, be honest with yourself and others, and lastly, make your final decision based on how the people you are considering will address your entire personal needs. Social, physical, mental, spiritual, and. . .your children's needs. Wisdom is your counselor here.

8) Pray. Ask God to change persons minds so they create a safe place for you. Pray for the wisdom to contribute more than you thought possible to this search. Prayer is your "flashlight" for those dark places you will find yourself in now and then on relationship seeking terrain.

Ok, there you are. Some tips that will definitely lessen your load and give you the "time" to deal with "all your responses." Plus, keep a check on the momentum created when you first decide to "search" for your relationship. Deep waters. . .do not let your dreams sink.

We insist on the very best for you, (Single Woman). Write back and keep asking us questions. We like to be of assistance to you. We really care and it is a pleasure to meet you here on the internet highway.

See you later our friend.


As you can see, we really slow them down. Good for you. . . and, good for them. You folks writing replies - take your time too. Just a tip. . .



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